About Ben Willcott
How we relate can hurt us or heal us.
I help couples and individuals understand what fuels conflict, distance, and self-doubt so they can make clearer choices and build stronger relationships.
Knowing why you are stuck is not always enough to get unstuck.
Many people who come to see me have already spent a lot of time trying to understand themselves. They can name the pattern and still find themselves anxious, self-critical, distant, or unable to make the change they want.
Couples often know exactly how an argument will end. They just cannot stop it once it starts. Both people may want more closeness, but asking for it feels risky and conflict begins to feel like a threat.
The habits that keep us stuck usually developed for a reason. They may have protected us or helped us stay connected in earlier relationships. Therapy helps us understand what those habits are doing now and whether we still need them. You are not broken. There is room for something different.
Here’s what working with me is like
I will be present and involved in the work.
I do not sit back and leave you to do all the talking. I listen closely, ask questions, and tell you what I am noticing. I also pay attention to what happens between us, because the habits that show up in everyday relationships often show up in therapy too.
My approach is relational, psychodynamic, and experiential. In everyday language, that means we pay attention to how you relate to yourself and other people. We notice what you feel, how you manage or avoid those feelings, and what those habits cost you.
My work draws on evidence-based models, contemporary neuroscience, and ongoing training and supervision. Those ideas give us a foundation, but your experience guides the work. I will not try to fit you into a formula.
Part of our work is noticing your feelings before old habits take over. When you can recognize what is happening inside, you have more freedom to decide what comes next.
My core values
These are the values that shape my work.
Honesty
We name what is happening as clearly as we can. That gives us something real to work with.
Curiosity
Assumptions keep you stuck in the same story. Curiosity makes room for new questions, so you can understand what's going on instead of reacting to what you expect.
Connection
Closeness and trust can be learned. Therapy gives you a place to practice, and what you learn carries into your other relationships.
Courage
Change asks us to face things we may have learned to avoid. We do that at a pace you can manage, while still doing the work that brought you here.
My Background & Training
Education and Licensure
B.A. University of Texas at Austin
M.A. Texas State University in Professional Counseling
Licensed in North Carolina
Trainings and Certifications
Completed 3 year Level 1 Core Training in Intensive Short-Term Dynamic Psychotherapy, as recognized by the International Experiential Dynamic Therapy Association (IEDTA)
Completed Level 1 Training in Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy, as recognized by International Centre for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy (ICEEFT)
Completed Level 1 Training in the Gottman Method of Couples Therapy
Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy
PACT
Relational Life Therapy
Ready to get Started?
Let’s do the work together