Couples Therapy in Durham, NC

Learn how to keep small disagreements from escalating into larger conflicts.

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Does this feel familiar?

You keep having the same arguments

The disagreement may begin with money, parenting, sex, chores, family, or how one of you spoke to the other. Soon, the original subject disappears. One person is trying to prove they’re right. The other is trying to prove their partner’s criticism is unfair.

Before you know it, you’re angry and demanding an answer, but your partner has stopped talking. You both leave the conversation feeling misunderstood. Later, you find you regret what you said, wish you had said it differently, or had avoided the subject altogether.

  • You have the same argument repeatedly, even when the subject appears to be different.

  • A request sounds like criticism, and an explanation sounds like an excuse.

  • One of you presses for an answer while the other withdraws or stops responding.

  • You rehearse what you want to say, then decide it is easier not to bring it up.

  • You function well as parents or household partners but don’t feel connected as a couple.

  • A breach of trust has damaged the relationship and you can’t find a way to repair.

How Couples Therapy Can Help

Couples therapy with me is not a debate in which I decide which of you is right. Instead, we examine how a concern becomes an accusation, how an explanation becomes defensiveness, and how silence or pursuit keeps the argument going. The goal is for both partners to understand the exchange clearly enough to respond differently.

I draw from Emotionally Focused Therapy and the Gottman Method. Together, these approaches help us see how your conflicts escalate and what drives them. We look at the fears and needs underneath each of your reactions, so you can say what you need in a way your partner can hear. We also build practical skills: stating concerns directly, listening without preparing a rebuttal, and returning to difficult subjects after an argument.

Our work may address recurring conflict, communication problems, emotional distance, sex and intimacy, infidelity, parenting disagreements, family boundaries, or a major decision. We focus on the concerns that brought you to therapy and the conversations that are difficult to have without help.

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You're ready for something different...

Here's what that can look like.

01. The same argument stops taking over every conversation.
A concern about money, parenting, sex, chores, or family can stay on that subject. You begin to recognize when criticism, defensiveness, or silence has taken over and return to the issue before every past grievance joins the conversation.

02. You understand what your partner is actually trying to say.
What sounds like control may be urgency. What looks like indifference may be an attempt to avoid making things worse. Instead of arguing about what you assume your partner meant, you can ask, answer, and respond to the concern underneath the reaction.

03. You begin to trust what happens after a disagreement.
Trust grows when a concern is taken seriously, an apology addresses the actual injury, and follow-through matches what was promised. Those experiences make it easier to speak honestly because neither of you expects every difficult conversation to end in attack or withdrawal.

04. You face difficult subjects as partners again.
Money, parenting, sex, family boundaries, betrayal, and major decisions may still be difficult to discuss. The difference is that you can remain on the same side while you address them, repair misunderstandings, and make decisions together.

Some couples benefit from more focused time than a standard session allows. Learn more about Couples Therapy Intensives →

Your Conversations Don’t Have to Keep Ending the Same Way

If your conversations repeatedly end in criticism, defensiveness, or silence, couples therapy can help you understand why and work on a different response. A free consultation is a chance to discuss what is happening and whether we may be a good fit.

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FAQs About Couples Therapy in Durham, NC

  • Couples therapy is treatment focused on the relationship between partners. It can help couples understand recurring conflict, communicate more clearly, address distance or breaches of trust, and practice different ways of responding during difficult conversations.

    What should we expect during the first couples therapy session?

    The first session is an opportunity for both partners to explain why they are seeking therapy, what has been difficult, and what they hope will change. I will ask about the relationship, the current concerns, and how disagreements usually unfold. We will also discuss whether my approach fits what you need.

  • Couples therapy can be useful when both partners are willing to examine their own responses and participate in difficult conversations. No therapist can guarantee a particular outcome. The work is most productive when the goals are clear and both partners practice what they are learning between sessions.

  • The length of therapy depends on the concerns, how long they have been present, and what each partner wants to accomplish. Some couples seek help with a specific issue. Others need more time to address longstanding conflict, distance, or a breach of trust. We can discuss a reasonable plan as the work develops.

  • Couples therapy can provide a structured setting to discuss what happened, address immediate questions, and determine what each partner would need in order to consider rebuilding trust. It does not rush forgiveness or guarantee reconciliation. The work begins with the couple's circumstances and goals.

  • Reluctance is common, especially when one partner expects to be blamed or doubts that therapy will help. The consultation can clarify what the work involves and give both of you a chance to ask questions. Couples therapy does require both partners to participate voluntarily.

  • I have completed Level 1 training in the Gottman Method of Couples Therapy and Level 1 training in Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy. I draw from both approaches and adapt the work to the concerns and strengths of each couple.

  • Yes. I offer couples therapy in person in Durham and online for couples located in North Carolina. A free consultation gives us a chance to discuss scheduling and whether online or in-person therapy is the better fit.

  • Couples therapy sessions (50 minutes) are $200.

  • I do not take insurance for couples therapy.